The Moral Child
First, I think I should at least give a nod to the fact that I haven't been writing in forever: It's exam time, here at the University of Waterloo, and because of that I have had neither the will to write nor the time to do so. To anyone who has been following this, I apologize for that inconvenience, I will be back to writing semi-regularly for the next while. On the upside, this break has allowed me to come up with a number of fresh ideas to write about which should last me until the end of the year. That being said, on with the show:
A thought just occurred to me, or, rather, a question: Is it moral or right to have a child simply because you're at a loss for goals in your life and you want some drive behind what you're doing on this earth? They say having children is a very fulfilling, difficult, resource-consuming activity, and I have no doubt that it is, but what are they typical reasons for having a child?
Some people, for sure, have always wanted children, to watch them grow, learn, live, love, and everything else that defines our species and sets us apart. This is, I think, a widely accepted view to having children. It also appears to be the most common. There was just a drive within us to reproduce, and we can't necessarily explain it. Dawkins made a shot at this with the Selfish Gene hypothesis, stating that we are simply a carrier of our genes - a form of slave of theirs - with the simple directive to duplicate said genes in a way that is more beneficial for them.
Others, when prompted with the question "Do you want children eventually, and if so, why?" have responded that they do want children eventually, but don't have a definite answer as to this eventual want. Again, the selfish gene seems to push this forward, and if it wasn't for such a drive, our children would be much less likely to survive, or to be born at all. Others, still, want children so they can create something great, to have them fulfill the dreams they were never able to attain because of either circumstance or chance occurrence.
But to take a pragmatic approach, of wanting to put yourself into something else because your life has reached the end of its productivity and its goals, seems to rub people the wrong way. It's seen as selfish, but I suggest it's no more selfish than any other approach to having children. To have children because you want to watch them grow; because you just want to; because you want to have something to love or to love you back; to pass on your knowledge are all inherently selfish drives to have a child.
Anyway, people are going to have kids, I just thought I'd put this out there and see what people had to say about it. Also, I should note that this is only looking at planned children since none of these would apply to accidental parents (except for after they realize they're having a kid and change their thought process about it, either accepting or rejecting the idea of parenthood and potentially leaping into one of these groups if they weren't already in them to begin with).
I should also say that I'm not considering having a child. I feel I need to say that because asking such questions may lead people to think that I'm seriously considering it, but the thought just occurred to me that people may have children just for the sake of a new goal, quest, or adventure.
There should also be something said about the combination aspect of having children--it's not just a mini-you, it's part you and part someone else, the ultimate attestation of love and the most comprehensive bonding experience (both in raising and in creation lol). There are people out there who didn't want children until they met someone worth having them with. In this case, it would also be selfish--a way to get closer to your partner.
This can also be contested though, studies have been done to show that marital satisfaction is at its highest after the birth of the first child, but goes down after that. It does go back up after the kids leave the house but never reaches the level it was pre-children. Couples who never have children, on the other hand, don't have this same degree of variation and remain at the same marital satisfaction level. (Lupris and Friders, 1981)