Social Faux Pas: Physical Features
For those of you who don't know me, I'm a rather tall guy: 6'7" in fact. Those who do know me clearly know this fact as well (maybe not in such detail, but generally speaking).
Having said that, I regularly get told that I'm tall, or asked whether I play basketball, football or whatever. My question about this is why is it alright to constantly point out this physical feature, but most other ones aren't. Don't misunderstand where I'm coming from, I don't care that much, but at times people need to wise up and stop telling me something I clearly know, especially when I'm trying to say something or the conversation is going well and they just drop that bomb that kills whatever was just being said.
A good example of how some things are okay to say and others aren't would be one that happened to me a few years ago: A boy of African descent was standing near me, looked up and said "Wow! You're tall!" and immediately I thought of saying "Wow, You're black!" but I realized this might be considered some sort of faux pas that could have a negative backlash, especially since I was a white guy standing in downtown Detroit at this time. Maybe Dave Chapelle's right when he says that white people can't say anything about race. Some of you might say that seeing a black person is less rare than seeing a tall person because we have a diverse society here in Canada. Well, I come from a small town with ~5 black families; I am now at a University with mostly people from Asian and Middle-eastern descent. Seeing a black person isn't particularly common to my everyday experience, so it was still somewhat notable for me. My point for this paragraph: Race isn't something you arbitrarily point out, is it?
I'm just wondering why it's alright to point out how tall someone is, but it can be considered rude to point out how short someone is. Is tall necessarily better? People seem to think so, but what about clothes, shoes, or travel? The world is build for the average wo/man, not for people on either the tall or short extremes (which makes sense). Usually, commenting on someone's physical features to their face is seen as impolite: you don't say to someone's face: "wow, you have big boobs", "wow, you're jacked", "wow, you're thin", because these things are either considered impolite or somewhat socially inept because there's no proper response to such a remark, is there? Despite these being somewhat valued features in western society, the conversation is still DOA. Yet at least once a week, this still happens... Care to explain why?
It's true that society's general position with regards to physical features is hypocritical.
I think because certain body types are praised in western culture, people feel that it's their duty to point out certain features to show their approval. People also hold back on discussing parts of ourselves because we've decided that we should be ashamed of specific elements of our bodies.
Sometimes I'd like to point out how favourably I feel about a woman's larger-than-average bum, the tone of a black person's skin, or the size of a man's tiny, gentle hands, but I feel that regardless of the connotation the observation holds when I speak it, it will be taken as an underhanded jab. Truthfully, though, you'll be hard pressed to find a physical feature that I have a distaste for. I appreciate most of our differences :)
Being tall is the only physical appearance one can comment on without offending the other person. That is because it is never seen as being negative. Pointing out any other aspect of a person is because not everyone wants to be short, fat, extremly skinny but everyone wants to be tall!
Nida
Race, no. Other sarcastic replies, yes.
"Yes, I woke up this way this morning and had to borrow clothes from Andre the Giant."
"Wow, you're short!"
Nida, if you ever read this, some women hate being called tall. Yay gender roles!
Phil, your so lucky to be so tall. You should donate 4 inches to me, then you be 6feet 3, which is still tall but normal. XD
Man I don't know what to say, I think I lack the inteligence to say something inteligent.
Question: when you first met me, I think I said "Wow your so tall" as well. Did you ever though "Hey, your Asian!" or rather "Oh, it's another asian guy..."
Lol xD